Jimmi Jerx

[via] So I think Chrisitina did a good job of covering one of Etta James' songs at her funeral, but then I realized she either sh*t her pants or got her rag during it. WTF?!  It must be all that weight she gained or the fact she thinks she's still skinny so she still wears tight clothes. Anyway, next time wear some depends with 15 maxi pads. Damn!

New York Post reports: "I hope somebody makes a movie about Obama’s life soon because I could play him. That's the goal," the rapper told VH1 News at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this week..."I watch all the addresses," he says. "Any time I see him on TV, I don’t change the channel. I definitely pay attention and listen to the inflections of his voice. If you ask anyone who knows me, I’m pretty good at impressions."..."I've been reading scripts for awhile," he said. "I want to do something great. I want to do something for my culture: The younger people who are still in tune with everything going on. I’m actually writing with my friends right now." Drake, don't quit your day job and I'm pretty sure Denzel already has that role locked.  Plus, you're first movie shouldn't go down in history as one of the worst. Rappers can't act, they already do a bad job pretending they had a hard life growing up ...

Kim Kardashian called police to her home in Beverly Hills when a stranger showed up at her gate with luggage ... saying he intended to stay at Kim's home. According to sources close to Kim ... the man showed up late last night. We're told he buzzed the intercom at her security gate and claimed Kim had flown him into town to stay with her -- and that he was supposed to be working on her reality show.  We're told Kim got freaked out when the man refused to leave and a member of her security detail alerted police.  It's unclear at this point if the man was booked for a crime. [via] I call b.s. It was probably for the show.  The writers must be getting lazy!  Anyway, Boycott Kim!

Nick Stahl was reportedly arrested for stiffing a cab driver on Friday. The actor allegedly got a ride but did not have the cash or credit to pay his $84 fare, leading the cabbie to flag down a police officer and had Stahl arrested. Stahl was reportedly taken into custody and not released until he posted $500 bail on Saturday. Perhaps best known for Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Stahl also starred in the HBO series “Carnivale” and In The Bedroom. Stay classy, Stahl.

A violent fight at Flavor Flav’s home on Sunday led to the reported arrest of one of his children. The rapper-turned-reality-TV star’s 19-year-old daughter, Da’zyna, was taken into custody for misdemeanor battery after getting into a confrontation with one of Flav’s stepsons, according to TMZ. Flav himself was allegedly hit during the fight. Da’zyna will reportedly have a hearing before a judge later today. Flav's Response:

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A *few* paparazzi were taking pictures of Pink and Carey Hart yesterday as they were leaving their house in Santa Monica and apparently the couple took offense with Pink flipping them off and Carey getting into one of the guy's faces trying to provoke a fight. Dude, don't mess with a Black Superman.

Alex DeSilva (So You Think You Can Dance Choreographer) "Former “So You Think You Can Dance” choreographer Alex Da Silva has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping a woman in 2002 and assaulting another in 2009. The decision was handed down in Los Angeles Superior Court. Da Silva was also ordered to register as a sex offender for life. In September, a jury convicted him of the rape and the assault with intent to commit rape, but deadlocked on four additional counts of violence, including the alleged rapes of two other women in 2004 and 2005. He appeared on the first four seasons of “So You Think You Can Dance.” Da Silva has been in jail since his 2009 arrest." He assualts and rapes women while doing choreography on the side. 

Susanna Barrett, a pageant mom who's been on Toddlers & Tiaras before, has thrown a $30 million lawsuit at TMZ, The Huffington Post and the greatest news source in every universe The Daily Mail for sexualizing her 5-year-old daughter Isabella by posting a video of Isabella singing to LMFAO's "I'm Sexy And I Know It" at a club in NYC. "If anybody's going to make a dollar by sexualizing Isabella, it's going to be Susanna Barrett and Susanna Barrett only! Now empty your fanny pack, Harvey!" At this rate she's headed towards developing a pre-teenage fondness for drugs and alcohol. (Circa Drew Barrymore 1993)

While many Twitter users spoke out against the body art, claiming that Rihanna was glorifying gang culture, she has since taken to the social networking site to defend her decision. “I #LOVE my new tattoo!!! Can’t wait for yall to see it!!! I got it in ‘Tibetan’ this time!!! #approved,” she wrote. “Chill babes #noshade. Err’body has an opinion, but yall know what yall can do with them!!! #THUGLIFE (sic)” Rihanna later joked: “I’m thinking I shoulda got a tear drop instead!!! #THUGLIFE maybe next time. “All eyes on Rih, betta picture me rollin’ #THUGLIFE.” Rihanna is so THUG LIFE. I hope she puts out a rap album.

Culture and Media Institute is slamming Miley Cyrus for what it calls “crude” and “disgusting” behavior, saying it “exemplifies sleaze” in Hollywood. On Thursday, the Culture and Media Institute (CMI) issued an article called “Hollywood Promoting Women Behaving Badly,” in which it suggests that the onetime Hannah Montana star “has become the epitome of the anti-role model for young girls.” Referencing Cyrus’ jokes about being a “stoner” and photos of the star celebrating her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s birthday with a penis-shaped cake, CMI describes Cyrus as “embracing the raunch” popularized by popular culture. The group also criticized Bachelorette, a racy film comedy – starring Kirsten Dunst, Lizzy Caplan and Isla Fisher – that just premiered at Sundance. “Disgusting behavior like Cyrus’ may be part of the ‘real world’ of Hollywood, where casual sex is celebrated and frequent divorce is almost a rite of passage,” declares CMI. “But it is not the real world, because in t...

The woman behind the lawsuit is named Susanne Ohman -- who claims she recently participated in a singing competition for the upcoming show "Killer Karaoke" ... which Steve-O hosts. According to the lawsuit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, the show sprays water at the contestants while they sing as a form of distraction. Susanne claims she got soaked ... and as she was stepping off a platform, she slipped. As a result, Susanne claims she "fractured and damaged her tibia, patella, ligaments, knee, leg, bones, and injured her muscles, bone, circulatory system, and body." Susanne claims she has since been required to undergo surgery -- and expects to undergo even more surgery in the future. She's suing Steve-O and the show's producers for unspecified damages. But Susanne isn't the only alleged victim -- her husband is also suing Steve-O for "loss of consortium"- Which means he can't f*ck his wife :( What did she expect to happen?  I...

Drew Carey and longtime fiancée Nicole Jaracz have broken up.  They had been engaged since October 2007.  “He and Nicole still have a great deal of love and affection for one another,” a rep for “The Price Is Right” host said in a statement. Two things I learned from this story: Women don't like being engaged that long. Don't lose weight.

Photographed exiting a beauty salon in Santa Monica, Kim Kardashian inadvertently revealed that she not only receives  Google Alert  emails whenever "Kim Kardashian" appears on the internet, but she actually spends her free time reading her personalized "Kim Kardashian" news alerts. Anyone surprised?

What other way could you possibly show respect to your grandmother who died while driving and texting. 

You are officially down 2-0 now.  Anybody that does this to them self is made to be in a circus.

Rihanna, it's gotta be on your belly to be considered legit.

" Miley Cyrus celebrated her boyfriend Liam's birthday last weekend by licking a birthday cake that would make most men feel ... just plain inadequate." [via] Liam "Hey hunny, could you get me a big fat black d*ck as my birthday cake? Thanks!!!" By the looks of it, she'd be going for the butthole if that was a real bj. Weirdo.

Joan Rivers could be a Halloween costume. Handler 1, Rivers 0. Let's see where this ends up..

Holy sh*t!!!

[via]

"I think we were shocked" –Seal  The couple announced their split on Sunday, and considering there was no buzz circling around the split, no rumors, no nothing, we were all pretty surprised. It left us asking two important questions: First, what went wrong? And second, are they still going to do joint Halloween costumes?  Anyway, Seal has now spoken out about the split, saying that he still loves Heidi and has no intention to remove his wedding ring:  "Yes, I am still wearing my ring," the singer told Ellen DeGeneres. "I think it’s just pretty much a token of how I feel about this woman. We have eight years. Eight wonderful years together. Just because we have decided to separate doesn’t necessarily mean you take off your ring and you’re no longer connected to that person."  [read more here] I'm not buying what he's selling.  Once he starts bangin' out chicks that are attracted to men with sh*t on their face, the ring will end up on his dres...

"If you were under the impression yesterday that Kristin Cavallari hatched a diabolical scheme to get pregnant on purpose so Jay Cutler would be on the hook for the next 18 years and allow her instant access to his millions, shame on you. It was totes an accident, you guys! TMZ reports:  If you were surprised to hear Kristin Cavallari was pregnant with Jay Cutler's baby, you're not the only one -- the couple themselves were shocked by the news ... TMZ has learned. Jay and Kristin announced yesterday they were with child -- following a crazy few months where they broke off their engagement, only to announce it was back on. Sources close to the couple tell TMZ, K&Jay had discussed the possibility of kids -- but planned to start cranking 'em out in a few years ... not any time soon. But shocking as it was, we're told they're thrilled with the news ... renewing their commitment more than ever to making their relationship work. If Jay wasn't locked down bef...

It's better on mute..anyway, I love when artists name songs after themselves.  Really a good way to show their artistic ability in a different way. Nicki, what two words would you use to describe yourself? "Stupid Hoe" and I'll even make a video about it!"

I still don't understand why so many dudes think she's hot.

“Whitney’s fortune is gone,” the source said. “Music industry heavy hitters are supporting her and her label is fronting her cash against her next album, but no one knows when that will be released.” The six-time Grammy winner has blown through an enormous fortune that she amassed over decades of stardom. “She might be homeless if not for people saving her. She is broke as a joke.” Bobby Brown’s  ex-wife’s financial woes have her so cash strapped she’s been begging friends for help. “She called someone to ask for $100,” the source said.  “It is so sad. She should have Mariah Carey money, and she’s flat broke.” [via] Hangin' out with Tyrone Biggums will make you broke!

"Justin Bieber is reportedly interested in a possible remake of Fear, the 1996 movie in which Mark Wahlberg played Reese Witherspoon’s psychotic and obsessive boyfriend. The teen idol is rumored to be a huge fan of the thriller and “eyeing” the scary Wahlberg role in a potential new version, according to MovieWeb. RELATED – Justin Bieber Returns to “CSI” Bieber and Wahlberg have discussed the young superstar’s future movie career in the past, and the two are teaming up on a street basketball movie." [via] What? Why would they have the Biebs star in this flick? Wouldn't Chris Brown be a lot better choice?

"I can't wait to see what team Paterno will coach for next season!"

"While filming a weight loss show in Australia,  Kevin Federline  was rushed to the hospital.  Federline has been filming the show  Excess Baggage  when he began having chest pains. Which doesn’t surprise me, because if you’ve seen any of these weight loss shows, they’re ridiculous. They expect these poor, fat people to do things that normal-weighing, healthy people probably couldn’t do. Then again, I’m out of breath walking up a flight of stairs so maybe I’m not the best judge.  Spokesperson for the Australian channel that broadcasts the show explained:  “Kevin was at Doonside with the [Giants], completing an AFL-related challenge. He did his challenge, which was running and catching the ball, then while his [in-series weight-loss partner] was taking the same challenge, he reported chest pains and a racing heart. Obviously on this show we have a lot of paramedics on standby and they treated him for the first signs of a minor cardiac arrest, called a...

Hey Heidi, anytime you wanna hit up a 2 for $20 at applebees or something just let me know.  And for Seal, something is wrong with you and its not just your temper temper!

Fail. The National Anthem Fail Club: Rosanne Barr Hillary Clinton Michael Bolton R. Kelly Christina Aguilera I think its time we cut The National Anthem from all sporting events...Well, except for the Olympics where we gotta represent, yo!

[via] "Rihanna and Chris Brown partied at the same club last night, fueling growing rumors they're back together.  The two singers left Greystone Manor -- a West Hollywood club -- separately, but they were both definitely there at the same time.  Several people who were at the club last night tweeted that as far as they could see Rihanna and Chris had no contact with each other.  The protective order -- requiring that they have no contact with each other after Brown beat Rihanna -- was lifted a year ago." [via] Ok, how long until Chris goes "Ike like" on her again? In other news, Rihanna smokes a fatty, or two.

“It was hard not to notice  Miley Cyrus ’ pared-down physique at the January 11 People’s Choice Awards ,” begins a piece from  In Touch , which goes on to claim that the teenage star spent big bucks to get slim.  According to a so-called “pal” of the singer, Cyrus “enlisted the help of a nutritionist, chef and her old personal trainer,  Harley Pasternak , to whip herself into bikini-ready shape ahead of her recent Hawaiian getaway with boyfriend  Liam Hemsworth .  This supposed friend claims, “Miley probably spent $50,000 to lose 15 pounds in a few weeks,” adding, “She didn’t care what it cost as long as she looked good!” [via] How much cocaine could you buy with $50,000? Just wonderin'.

With Kobe's recent headlines and when I first read the title I thought, "What?! Kobe's gay? Oooooh you mean basketball teams..."  But then again, who goes to shoe parties?

Mmmmm...I don't think I could. The other one would be staring at me like, "me, me, what about ME?!!!"

If you're bored in your cubicle/desk and need to kill some time,   Read These Chris Rock Quotes And Try Not To Laugh!   [via]

"Letterman helped her out of her frock, gallantly unzipping it for her, and then he stood back to admire her derriere. "Wow!" he said, and then seemingly lost for words, he kept repeating "Oh my, oh my." [via] Maybe if she got a facelift, dyed her hair, and changed her voice this would have been a good thing.  Oh well, s ooner or later gingers will be extinct and this won't....ever....happen....again.  

Dana Carvey tells TMZ that he would totally be down for another Wayne's World movie.  The only set back would be getting the busy Mike Meyers to find the time to do it.  Here's a sketch they did on SNL last year. SCHA-WING!   Somebody tell Mike Meyers this movie has to happen!

"Michelle Williams, she was on Dawson’s Creek and a few movies since then. Anyway, she’s moved up to my area ( Sullivan County NY ), and makes appearances around here sometimes. Anyway, she came into a healthfood store I work at, and we’re a small town, small inventory type of store; and we didn’t have enough of what she was looking for (millet flour) so she ordered it. Now, ordinarily, when customers order something specific, we take a down payment. When I told her this, she refused, and said she’d rather pay in full later. I thought, shes loaded, she’s good for it. Well we ordered all her millet flour and she never came! We paid just about $300 upfront from our supplier company, and Nik, I don’t know if Shayne is into healthfood, but she may know what millet flour is, and it’s very hard to sell!! Just thought I’d blast this mediocre actress (at best) for the $300 that cut a week and a half’s pay from my check." [via] She needs to be antiqued with that Millet Flour.

"The  New York Daily News  says that Sean Combs was yelling at Cameron Diaz (they’re reportedly dating these days) and ordering her around when they were at the Weinstein Company Golden Globes party Saturday night, but before you decide how you feel about that, keep in mind that Cameron Diaz went to that party looking like  this .   " One partygoer was startled by Diddy’s “controlling” treatment of Diaz. (After arriving separately) Diddy found Diaz sitting on a couch “talking to a guy.” “Let’s go,” Diddy told her.  Diaz quickly got up and followed him out a back exit, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi (but) ran into three male party guests who wanted their pictures taken with Diaz. She happily obliged until an impatient Diddy grabbed her hand, said “Let’s go” again, and pulled her to a waiting car.  “I’ve never seen him so controlling,” says the source, who says Diaz “seemed to like the manly power thing.” Maybe he's never dated a whit...

Oprah Winfrey’s bodyguards were detained on Thursday by the police in Mathura, a town 90 miles south of Delhi, after they got into a fight with local TV journalists.   The talk show host is in India shooting her new show “Oprah’s Next Chapter.”   Police held three members of Oprah’s security detail after they brawled with local TV journalists covering her trip. Some video equipment belonging to the TV crews was destroyed. [via] Oprah's bodyguards could kill a village in India and get away with murder. 

So earlier today snooki tweeted a pic to her fans with no makeup. Rumor has it, this will be the new look for all the girls on the jersey cast. Whoa. That's a whole lot of paint missing. Makes me think shes somewhat attractive. Mmmmmm...No just kidding. She's still orange inside.

"It’s Ba-a-a-ck! The 11th season of “American Idol” arrives on Fox tonight, and host Ryan Seacrest says for some viewers, the return can’t come soon enough. “I’ve been hearing a lot of ‘We can’t wait,’” Seacrest told ABC News Radio. “Actually, I’ve been hearing more ‘I can’t wait for ‘American Idol ‘to come back this next season’ than I’ve heard in two or three years.’” Seacrest says he finds that interesting, because there’s so much more competition, from shows like NBC’s “The Voice,” but, he noted, “From what I hear, there’s just something about the original, and the Americana, that is ‘American Idol." [via] Woohoo another season of Steven Tyler and his awkward, spaced-out quotes/face gestures and hitting on teenagers! 

"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry.'" [via] ***update: TMZ spoke with  Deena Burnett-Bailey  -- whose husband  Thomas Burnett  phoned her from that fateful flight saying, "I know we're going to die. There's three of us who are going to do something about it." Burnett-Bailey tells us, "Does Mark Wahlberg have a pilot's license? Then I think hindsight is 20/20 and it's insignificant to say what you would have done if you weren't there. " She adds, "The plan for Flight 93 was foiled by heroes. For him to speculate that his presence on board could have stopped everything is silly and disrespectful.  Sounds like someone is grandstanding." [via] Yeah and I could have stopped the Titanic from sinking or gone on a stealth ninja m...

Yes that's right! You're hearing it first straight from jimmijerx.com! James Cameron is in the works to make a movie similiar to one that made him a gazillion dollars. Ya know, the one called Titanic? Anyway, he says Steve Carell will be playing the silly italian sailor who decided to detour to give his pal a little wave before sinking that big ol' ship. Its in the works now and should hit theaters this christmas. Ok, I'm totally kidding.

[via] "Former “X Factor” contestant Astro, who locked horns with show creator Simon Cowell, has inked a record deal with Epic, the Daily News has learned.  “It’s amazing. It feels great,” the 15-year-old Brooklyn rap phenom said.  “It’s like a dream. . . . I can finally say I’m working on my album.”  It’s no coincidence that the chairman and CEO of Epic Records is L.A. Reid, one of the judges on the show. Reid served as Astro’s mentor on the show.  Astro, whose real name is Brian Bradley, made it to the top 10 of the popular Fox television talent show — and not without clashing with Cowell.  Astro, who was among the final seven contestants, drew flak for his cocky attitude.  He even refused to perform when he was on the verge of being voted off the show, and talked back to Cowell while shedding some tears.  He would later apologize.  Despite his actions, the rapper’s popularity continued to soar. He now has nearly 200,000 followers on Twitter. ...

(click to enlarge) [via] With a girlfriend that crazy, I'd have to tweet @chrisbrown to kick a chick. HiiiYaaa!

[tmz]

"I just received this letter from my lawyers at Salberg. Looks like Casey Anthony already has a deal in place for 1 million dollars that supersedes all interview requests. That is unfortunate because I still think I am the best person for the job."-nik richie Nobody else could interview like Nik Richie. Plus, two people that are hated by so many people would get a lot of ratings. But then again, any baby killer isn't worth sh*t.

"The mystery   surrounding the real identity   of Khloe Kardashian 's biological father can be solved with a simple DNA test, and RadarOnline.com  has learned there's a $250,000 offer on the table. If Khloe accepts, the $250,000 will be donated to a charity of her choice. Sirius XM Satellite personality  Gregg  ' Opie ' Hughes  of  The Opie & Anthony Show announced on Tuesday morning that he would ante up a quarter of a million dollars if Khloe, 27,  would take a DNA test  to prove that the late  Robert Kardashian  is her father." [radaronline.com] Jeez, radio shows and their offers.